HDB to Introduce Windowless Flats for Smokers

he Housing Development Board (HDB) will begin to introduce windowless flats for smokers by the end of 2019.

The initiative was implemented after MPs, during a Parliament session, brought up residents’ displeasure of having second-hand smoke invading their homes.

86-year-old Agatha Chua was one such resident.

“Now 7th month but even when I burn joss sticks, I only smell cigarette smoke. Like that how my ah pa find his dinner?” she said, pointing towards the ground at a styrofoam box containing char siew rice.

“Later my neighbour’s ancestors come and eat, then how? Who pay me back my $3.50? Government? I add rice some more okay!”

Toby Koh, a Marketing Executive at HDB, tells us how the idea was conceived: “I keep reading all these things about 377A, and I think the government has done a great job of keeping all the gays in the closet.”

“Then I realised that the same solution can be applied to this problem, and I pitched to my boss that putting smokers in an enclosed space would be a simple solution.”

Finally, he added, “Besides, if putting smokers in yellow boxes isn’t working, then maybe putting them in literal boxes would be a better idea.”

Lifelong smoker, Roald Kok believes that this is a good idea.

“Without windows, I can smoke in complete darkness. My other senses will be heightened like Daredevil and each puff of a cigarette will be even more shiok.”

“I always knew smoking would give me superpowers.”