British Expat Discovers Brave New World Beyond Newton


fter falling asleep one day on the train home, British expatriate banker Charles Wright awoke and discovered himself in the mythical lost city of Toa Payoh.


“Oh wow, amazing, I’ve always thought Toá Pay’oh was just a legend the old explorers tell at Club Street,” he exclaimed.


“I can’t believe I’m seeing this with my own eyes.”


As he wandered slack-jawed through the labyrinthine ancient bazaar where ruffians sold second-hand mobile phones, breathing the exotic aroma of Gongcha mixed with Kimzua, Mr. Wright could not help wondering if he was the first white man to ever set foot in a mamashop.


“I must collect samples to show proof of my discovery,” he whispered to himself, grabbing a handful of curry puffs and paus.


Upon his return to Newton, Mr. Wright’s samples provoked excitement and earned him a knighthood.


However, unbeknownst to him, the success had bred much jealousy. Spurred by the promise of riches and fame, Australian expat Anthony Murray had began planning an expedition to ‘Darkest Yishun’—a land where even the Toa Payoh natives feared to tread.